Happy Birthday Nadeera!!

I love you Nadeera..

I still remember the feeling when Maktok placed you in my arms, that night you were born. Well, 6 years ago that is. I can't describe it with any words there is in this world. You are truly a god-send, Alhamdulillah... Allah saved you, so I can know the joy of having you in my life. Allah the Most Merciful…

We were in a very long labor; I was induced early in the morning of 27^th August 2003. A long wait started. In the early phase, I could still hear your constant heart beat from the monitor, but towards the later phase, sometimes I couldn’t hear you. I was worried, but I didn't know much then, it was my first time. At around 9.00pm the doctor finally decided for us to go under the C-sect. I wasn’t ready for a C-sect, so I decided to be under GA. When I was finally awake, I didn’t feel your heavy body on my tummy anymore. Papa was by my side, waking me up. Then, I was pushed into the room and I still had not seen you. I was still drowsy though.

The next chance I get, I asked Maktok “Mana baby?..” So, Maktok went and picked you up from your little bed and placed you in my right arm. There you were. Eyes closed, all cozy wrapped in a blanket. You were a big baby, I can still feel your weight on my arms, I can still smell your hair, and I can still feel the softness of your cheek. You just sleep and didn’t make any sound. And Nadeera, later in your life, if you see a mother with tears while holding their newborn baby, never asked why (as you always do)? Believe me, that tears is just because.. because you are beautiful, because I finally get to see you, because you were sleeping so comfortably, because you are finally out, because you are my daughter, because I finally get to see the arms and the legs that has been poking inside my tummy, because your hair is short you look like a boy, because you smell so nice as a baby always do, because you are all that I dream of.. because of everything there is in a mother’s heart..

Alhamdulillah, you survived. You were tangled with the umbilical cord around your neck, circled twice, and were very tight; as the doctor said. Alhamdulillah is all that I can say for everyday of your life…

Mama love you Nadeera, so much!

Sebuah Pengakuan.

“Sebuah Pengakuan”

Tuhanku... aku tidak layak memasuki syurga Firdaus

Dan aku pun tak mampu menahan siksa api Neraka

Terimalah taubatku dan ampunilah dosa-dosaku

Sesungguhnya Engkaulah Pengampun dosa-dosa besar

Dosa-dosaku amatlah banyak bagai butiran pasir

Terimalah taubatku, wahai Yang Maha Agung

Umurku berkurang setiap hari, sedang dosa-dosaku terus bertambah

Bagaimana aku sanggup menanggungnya?

Tuhanku... hamba-Mu yg durhaka ini datang bersimpuh menghadap-Mu

Mengakui dosa-dosa dan menyeru memohon kepada-Mu

Bila Kau mengampuni, Engkaulah Sang Pemilik Ampunan

Bila Kau campakkan (usirkan) aku, kepada siapa aku mesti berharap selain dari-Mu?

Source: http://music.elvini.net/itiraf.cgi

Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

by Robert Frost

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

by Mother Theresa and/or Dr Kent Keith

Doa memulakan kerja

Ya Allah aku memohon pada Mu kebaikan pekerjaan ini dan segala kebaikan yang ada di dalamnya dan aku berlindung pada Mu daripada keburukan pekerjaan ini dan segala keburukan yang ada di dalamnya. Sesungguhnya di atas segala sesuatu itu Engkaulah yang maha berkuasa menentukannya

Surah Luqman (Ayat 27)

Dan sekiranya segala pohon yang ada di bumi menjadi pena, dan segala lautan (menjadi tinta), dengan dibantu kepadanya tujuh lautan lagi sesudah itu, nescaya tidak akan habis Kalimah-kalimah Allah itu ditulis. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Kuasa, lagi Maha Bijaksana.

And if all the trees on earth were pens and the ocean (were ink), with seven oceans behind it to add to its (supply), yet would not the words of Allah be exhausted (in the writing). For Allah is Exalted in Power, full of Wisdom.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

by Rudyard Kipling