A friend's post..

ALLAH'S PLANS

Some things are beyond planning.
And life doesn't always turn out as planned.
You don't plan for a broken heart.
You don't plan for an autistic child.
You don't plan for spinsterhood.
You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever.
You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful.
You plan to be acclaimed and successful.
You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don't plan to be sad.
You don't plan to be hurt.
You don't plan to be broke.
You don't plan to be betrayed.
You don't plan to be alone in this world.
You plan to be happy.
You don't plan to be shattered .

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want.
But MOST times, what you want and what you get are two different things.

We, mortals, plan.
But so does Allah (SWT) in the heavens.
Sometimes, it is difficult to understand Allah's plans especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours.

Often, when He sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger.
True, we cannot choose what Allah wishes us to carry, but we can carry it with courage knowing that He will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, Allah breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, He allows pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, Allah sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes, He allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves.
And sometimes, Allah takes everything away from us so we can learn the
value of everything He gave us

Make plans, but understand that we live by Allah's grace.

Although they plan, Allah also plans. And Allah is the Best of Planners.
[Holy Qur'an 8:30]

~Sofia Osman

Well wishes for my kids..

Often at night times, I am somehow inclined to look back at what I have done through out the day. Mostly, my attention will be around my kids. If I have spent enough time with them, if I have teach them anything good today, if I really Iistened to them telling me their stories... Sadly, honestly, I feel guilty. At the end of the day, when my kids are already sleeping, I realized how I should have spend my day today. I should have let Nazrin come and sleep with me, it's his request that I said 'yes' to, but because I wasn't really listening, he ended up sleeping in the other room. Well there are too many things that I could have done better today but I didn't. Too bad the day is already over. The kids are already asleep. And I am at this position, the same as any other nights before.. Feeling guilty..
Well, tomorrow is a new day. Let's try again tomorrow, try harder. I should get some sleep in order to function properly, shouldn't I?! :-) Ok, sleep now, let's cook some good breakfast tomorrow morning!!

Fainted.

I hope everyone out there is doing well.. That's the least that I could wish for. I just had an accident, from a split second of fainting. It was yesterday morning as I was walking into the bathroom for a shower. I had to hold on to the bathroom door, as I was feeling dizzy, didn't get the chance to sit down and suddenly I was already on the floor. Back of my head hurt very badly. I could only lie down and my view at that time was the bottom of the sink. My head must have knocked on the sink as I fell to the floor. I could even feel the swelling grew bigger and bigger as I was holding my head.. I measured it later, yep, it was big.. 10cm in diameter. Big and painful. My kids who were sleeping in the room, were awoken to the loud bang. They came running to see why was I on the floor (I'm sorry kids, you had to see your mama at her worst).

Alhamdulillah, I'm still alive. I could have fallen differently and it could be fatal. There's not much safety features in the bathroom. There is a shower partition that has a sharp edge, and I knew my fate will not be the same if that was where I landed yesterday. Well, that's all I want to share. With it, I hope we will get our lessons. Whatever that you can think of, never forget to thank Allah, He watches over us. Again and again..

Paradise

I really love this piece of blog by En. Ahmad Sirajudin (late), I wish to treasure it in my blog and have my friends to read it. Hopefully it will bring the same feeling of gladness and hopes for everyone of you.. I do hope for the same, any corner in His paradise, enough for me to be with my family and friends whom I love so much..

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Paradise

From the Quran and the Hadith (Saying of the Prophet) I get the impression that paradise is a place filled with gardens, orchards, rivers and stately mansions of dwellers of paradise. The gardens are not only pleasing to the eyes but produce fragrance that appeal to the senses. The orchards abound with fruits of all types, you name it, its there. Grapevines, dates, berries , citrus and melons all ready for picking. I think my favorite fruit, durian, is also in the list because it says "all types".Three are rivers overflowing with milk. There are rivers overflowing with honey and wine too! You won't get drunk drinking it.

The dwellers of paradise are of the same age - 33 years old. So its kind of hard to tell between grandpa and grandson. Folks in paradise converse in Arabic. I think the language is simply "installed" into them like computers. Their memories and their experience of the once long gone earthly days survive death and continue in their consciousness in paradise. So there is a lot of things to talk about to pass the time. Prophet Muhammad says everybody in paradise experiences a sense of bliss and well being. There is no sickness, no death, living forever. Its hard for us today to comprehend time that goes on and on without end.

A family on earth remains a family in paradise assuming that nobody drops off to hell during the grueling test on Judgment Day. A man in paradise who so inclined towards a second wife may chose a "maiden of paradise" the Quran describes "maids of modest gaze, most beautiful of eyes"
(Al-Saffat, 48) There is no procreation in paradise. No seed is ensued during sexual activity. Otherwise paradise will be full of children!

Above all, the best thing in paradise is the opportunity and the privilege to "Gaze at the countenance of Allah" - the Creator of all things.

Today I have a place I consider my own little private paradise. It is my back yard where I take my afternoon naps under the shade of cempaka trees. During flowering seasons, the trees produce fragrance too, but I think it is not as good as that in real paradise. As I doze off to sleep, with half closed eyes, I watch the cloud through breaks in the branches where little birds hop and chirp in merriment. The breeze that blows is refreshing. All that I ask from Allah is a place like this in any corner of His paradise. Any corner will do as long as it is not in hell

Posted by Ahmad Sirajudin at 8:14 PM

I'm me..

I'm a little bit of her,
Little bit of him.

I'm a little bit of my brothers,
Little bit of my sisters.

I'm a little bit of my friends,
Little bit of my foes.

I'm a little bit of this world,
Little bit of me.

At the school gate..

I was waiting for Nadeera at her school gate this evening. Around me, there were other mothers and fathers waiting for their kids too. Few mothers talking to each other, but as usual, I didn't pay attention to others (need to improve on this?..hmm..), I just stood quietly waiting for her. When the school bell rang, the usual rush, kids everywhere walking quickly and some running to the gate. Excited maybe, to finally finish the day or maybe, happy to see their 'comfort' waiting at the gate.

Among the noise of the kids laughing and talking (or screaming), somehow I overheard a mother telling to her talking partner, "See, I sent her to school all tidy and neat, look at how she turned out at the end of the day" and making all the remarks on how her 'tudung' is not properly done, how her dress is not straight, and her shoes is not tight.. I saw that little girl walking towards the mother, when suddenly when she reached her, the mother gave a smack on her head and started fussing about how undone she looks.. Was I surprised by this?! Definitely!..

What did she see when she saw her daughter at the gate this evening? I can't tell you what she saw. But I can tell you what I saw when I see my daughter this evening at the school gate. I saw a six year old (who thinks she is already seven, well not yet Nadeera, not until 27th August ok.. don't grow up too fast!), running and half jumping with a big smile on her face. Yes, she ran towards me, she let go of her friend's hand to run to me. Am I glad? Yes, definitely.. To see my daughter ran towards me like she has not seen me in months! Is she all clean? NO! She had stain, a black stain on her 'tudung' I bet it is from her small fingers scratching her head, maybe, trying to figure out an answer for a question. She had some hair coming through from the side of the 'tudung' as well.. her dress, of course it is not straight, the side has come up to the front. Haha.. Well, it is a tough life in there! Can't blame you for not showing up a bit more presentable little girl!

I hope, I pray that mothers out there don't go smacking their kids' head like that.. It hurts their ego more than their head!

Helps.

I received helps from everywhere at times of need. I have received help from strangers, ever since I was a little girl. Moreover from family and friends. The most recent, I got in contact with a stranger which in a way helped me to clarify the truth about a tragedy that has a huge impact in my life and has changed my journey.
Thinking of it, make me feel so grateful for His help. I believe that it is all Allah's will. He steered me. But, I too wonder... Do I give enough in return for the many helps I received? I hope I do. If not, I want to... And I will make sure, I will be the one giving help to strangers (of course family and friends too).
For the stranger, I did not get the chance to say thank you. I know you have passed. I will remember you. Thank you.